Chronic isolation and loneliness
Last week we talked about healing after a break-up and this week we talk about chronic isolation and loneliness.
Chronic loneliness occurs when feelings of loneliness and uncomfortable social isolation go on for a long period of time. It’s characterised by constant and unrelenting feelings of being alone, separated or divided from others, and an inability to connect on a deeper level. It can also be accompanied by deeply rooted feelings of inadequacy, poor self-esteem, and self-loathing.
Why are people lonely?
Loneliness can happen for several reasons. For example, you might feel lonely if you:
change schools or jobs
work from home
move to a new city
end a relationship
are living alone for the first time
As you adjust to these new circumstances, feelings of loneliness may pass, but sometimes they persist. It’s not always easy to talk about feeling lonely, and if you have a hard time reaching out to others, you might feel even more alone.
A lack of meaningful connections also contributes to loneliness, which is why you can feel lonely even if you have a wide social network.
Maybe you have a lot of casual friends and fill your time with social activities but don’t feel too close to anyone. Spending a lot of time with couples and families can also lead to feelings of loneliness if you’re single and don’t want to be. This could happen even when you’re happily single.
Living with mental or physical health issues can also increase the risk for loneliness. Health concerns can be isolating, since it can be difficult to explain how you feel. Sometimes social activities demand too much emotional or physical energy, and you might end up cancelling more plans than you keep.
Eventually, a continued lack of social connection might make you feel even worse.
Symptoms
The main signs and symptoms of chronic loneliness are:
Inability to connect with others on a deeper, more intimate level.
No close or "best" friends.
Overwhelming feeling of isolation regardless of where you are and who's around.
Negative feelings of self-doubt and self-worth.
When you try to connect or reach out, it’s not reciprocated, and you’re not seen or heard.
Exhaustion and burn out when trying to engage socially.
Can chronic loneliness lead to health problems?
Long-term feelings of loneliness can affect your health in many ways. For example, chronic loneliness can drive up cortisol levels in the body. Cortisol is a hormone that your body creates when under stress. Over time, higher cortisol levels can lead to inflammation, excess weight gain, insulin resistance, problems concentrating, and more.
If left unchecked, these chronic loneliness symptoms can put you at greater risk for more serious medical and emotional problems, including:
Depression
Sleep disorders
Type 2 diabetes
Heart disease
High blood pressure
Mental health and emotional problems
Substance use
There is even the possibility that chronic loneliness and the health risks that come with it, could shorten one’s lifespan.
What does chronic loneliness do to your brain?
Research shows that chronic loneliness can have a significant impact on your overall health, including your brain health. Some studies even suggest that there may be a link between loneliness and an increased risk for developing dementia and Alzheimer's.
Long term feelings of loneliness and social isolation can also reduce cognitive skills, such as the ability to concentrate, make decisions, problem-solve, and even change negative self-beliefs. And it can ultimately lead to depression.
Who’s most at risk for chronic loneliness?
Chronic, or long-term, loneliness can afflict all types of people. It’s easy to assume that someone who’s naturally shy and introverted might be most at risk, but outgoing, Type A, personalities can also suffer from chronic loneliness, even though they may appear to be the life of the party. This type of loneliness is not exclusive to any one personality type.
For some people chronic loneliness may become a side effect of a medical or emotional problem, including those dealing with the following issues:
Substance use
Depression and bipolar disorder
Serious illness or disease
Some mild forms of autism, such as Asperger's Syndrome
Dementia and Alzheimer's
Sexual orientation issues
What are some tips for dealing with chronic loneliness?
Talk to your doctor, a therapist, or another health care professional.
Engage with other people in a positive, healthy way. Instead of relying on social media, try to connect with people in person. Make plans you'll enjoy and mark them on your calendar.
Get some exercise and sunlight. Try not to spend all your time in the house. Instead, opt for a walk outside on a nice day or a hike in your favourite park.
Writing a "to do" list for the next day before bed can organise your thoughts and clear your mind of any distractions.
Find a support group, especially if chronic loneliness is a side effect of some other issue you might be dealing with, such as substance use, loss of a loved one, loneliness from a divorce or breakup, a chronic and isolating illness, etc. Receiving support and encouragement from others who may share similar feelings, could help ease symptoms of chronic loneliness.